tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post4453152784153231696..comments2022-04-11T20:34:56.519-07:00Comments on Gamer By Design: The Importance of Speaking UpTalarianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17684944568000522986noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-4258547269612127372014-09-14T20:37:34.350-07:002014-09-14T20:37:34.350-07:00I empathize with your experience, Tal. I think a l...I empathize with your experience, Tal. I think a lot of Americans find themselves in a similar position for the same reasons. We dont want to lose our jobs/titles/money and authorities are more likely to call whistle blowers a problem than anything else.<br /><br />I also think theres a real danger in believing that speaking softly is more effective/efficient than speaking loudly. I haven't found this to be true anywhere. The idea is to respect everyone, but being loud isn't a show of disrespect. In most cases, it's pain that causes the volume. Real pain.<br /><br />To give a familiar example that I like, it's like having someone stand on your foot and when you shout in pain, they tell you you're rude for shouting. There's this really ugly idea out there that people who are hurting others, knowingly or not, deserve some deference that they aren't showing to those others. The arguments usually contain keywords like "civil" and "mature" and "cool headed", but tend to lay responsibility on the speaker in getting the audience to listen. People should speak in whatever way they know how (softly, loudly, etc). We should also learn to respect when someone tells us we're harming them. <br /><br />I agree with Talarian here that the target audience is really the people you support, not the bigots who are causing the problem. The idea is that breaking your silence gives courage to others who wouldn't otherwise do anything. It's not to convince the bigot that they're a bigot. 9 times out of 10, they already know that. They've just decided they have a right to be that way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-42068255317358253262014-09-11T16:08:18.322-07:002014-09-11T16:08:18.322-07:00Thanks Syl. It's funny--not haha funny, but a ...Thanks Syl. It's funny--not haha funny, but a little strange--that I picked the example that I did from my own life. I've been physically assaulted, threatened, told by the cops to leave because my very presence was apparently the issue rather than the person threatening me. So to those who don't have a voice because they literally cannot, I understand and I do not, and can not, judge.<br /><br />I do agree that things are getting better overall. The last hurrah of the hatemongers, perhaps. One can hope. But slowly and surely, as more people stand up, things have improved and will continue to do so.Talarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17684944568000522986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-9569347843298711682014-09-10T11:14:54.832-07:002014-09-10T11:14:54.832-07:00I empathize with your experiences so much - I neve...I empathize with your experiences so much - I never directly had to deal with homophobia (as in not as the target) but there are so many instances in my life when looking back, I wish I had acted differently. I wish I had had a voice.<br /><br />But then, that's how we grow, right? :) Most of these experiences will not repeat themselves. I'm more of what I can do for myself and others, especially in my immediate environment. And it works, in small steps and slowly, but it does. I'm lucky to live in a place that has established more social peace than many bigger countries in the world, but we're still far from done.<br /><br />I can't help but seeing the positive aspects of all that's happened lately. More people than ever discuss social topics in gaming. More men and women can see for themselves first-hand that the harassment isn't being made up. I've observed guys taking interest in this topic lately that otherwise never would. So in a crooked way, the haters are digging their own grave. The intensity of the hate shows it's hitting close to home now and while it might look like things get worse, they are actually getting better. Sylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04473554645340972749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-31959485468383369942014-09-09T03:50:23.654-07:002014-09-09T03:50:23.654-07:00I think you're both on the same track here. Ta...I think you're both on the same track here. Talarian is absolutely right that being "silent" is the wrong thing to do. But Jeromai is absolutely right in that you don't always (or even often) have to actually be vocal about it - actions count as much as words. In the commander example, asking if anyone else wanted to take up the commander tag would work, or just announcing that you're leaving because this commander makes you uncomfortable or unwelcome. Or being one of those who deserted that commander for another one without saying anything, I think that is doing something, making a statement. Ideally you'd do more, but not everyone can muster that kind of courage every time.Dahakhahttp://starfiredbeef.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-57218782809496845402014-09-08T13:39:54.337-07:002014-09-08T13:39:54.337-07:00To be fair, quiet consternation IS better than doi...To be fair, quiet consternation IS better than doing nothing.<br /><br />But at the same time, if your higher order priority is keeping the peace, you're allowing the trolls to control the conversation. It means all they need to do is raise a stink to shut things down, which is precisely what they're attempting to do with Anita Sarkeesian and the death threats/insults.Talarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17684944568000522986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-7480686597465250842014-09-08T13:18:12.295-07:002014-09-08T13:18:12.295-07:00I agree that there are definitely other tracks you...I agree that there are definitely other tracks you can take to reach the same position, but they cannot be the only thing that occurs. Someone needs to speak up and say, "Hey, that's not cool." But that's not to stop the people slinging racist or homophobic statements. It's to help the victims of those statements--because as my blog post states, you'll likely never convince folks who are actively perpetuating the problems that they're wrong.<br /><br />A prime example of this is gay youth suicides (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_among_LGBT_youth). Many studies have shown that bullying of LGBT youth has lead to a higher rate of suicide amongst that population comparatively. Further research has shown that family acceptance brings down that suicide rate, and that passing laws that discriminate against the LGBT population significantly increases the rate of drug use and depression.<br /><br />So we have a situation where a population is being oppressed, and speaking up (acceptance, challenging bullies, etc.) would have a measurable positive effect on said population. I don't think it's a large jump to say the same would likely be the case for racism/sexism as it is for homophobia.<br /><br />As I said:<br />"There'll always be a contingent of sociopaths who, regardless of what side they sit on, you'll never convince one way or another, and they'll toss death threats and violence, verbal or physical, at people they disagree with. If possible, don't waste your energy on convincing them. Denounce them, show other people why what they're doing is damaging. But you'll never turn their opinion.<br /><br />It's the silent majority that you need to get on your side. Convince them that being silent is the wrong thing to do. Appeal to their empathy to show them that we're all just people, and that everyone should be safe in their person. History shows, via Woman's Suffrage, the African-American Civil Rights movement, and LGBT rights in some countries (and ongoing today in the US), that this is how (relatively) peaceful cultural change occurs."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Talarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17684944568000522986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2814591084344141656.post-14638514279130222272014-09-08T12:57:18.021-07:002014-09-08T12:57:18.021-07:00Just to point out that it's not a dichotomy be...Just to point out that it's not a dichotomy between being -required- to speak up or speak out or "oh no, you're in the silent majority and thus condoning EVIL..."<br /><br />There's a whole spectrum of other possibilities, such as demonstrating through personal action or personal example, quiet or sneaky propaganda aka media exposure where the desired way of things are treated/viewed as normal, silent ostracism or removal of self from situations that one disapproves of, nonverbal communication such as frowns and so on.<br /><br />Sometimes, confrontationally speaking out may not change any minds either, while softer means may have a chance.<br /><br />As a random example, I'll pull up a more specific small scale sort of incident. In Guild Wars 2's WvW, everyone on the server is ostensibly on the same side. If a disagreement gets confrontational, it can threaten to rip apart a server, with sides being taken, lines being drawn, egos flying everywhere and so on. <br /><br />It benefits no one if everyone decides they want to "speak out" and lash out at each other - though some people do still wish to speak out and they do still get their say and day in the sun on message boards/forums, etc.<br /><br />Let's say there is a particular commander who is notorious for using terribly abusive language, leaning towards racism sometimes (though he can't be reported because he keeps it out of game and only on third party voicechat) and is very exclusive and fairly abrasive towards the general militia. All in all, it's behavior that isn't pleasant and is counter to the server's culture.<br /><br />Your post would encourage everyone to speak out against this commander, attacking him in the hopes of letting him know that his behavior is unacceptable and toxic. What do you think he would do?<br /><br />Let me assure you, it's highly unlikely he'll suddenly see the light and change his ways. In fact, he may even enjoy the attention and troll everybody further.<br /><br />It's simple. What happened is what generally happens. There were the verbal few who spoke out and made no compromise about their opinions regarding this commander, though some were polite enough to keep it general and not name names. They attracted another group who tried to keep them quiet in the name of peace and harmony, which ended up in a screaming fit because each side felt they were being shouted down and not being heard.<br /><br />Other people spoke quietly behind-the-scenes with the commander, though no one publically knows the results of that. The silent majority stayed silent, either shrugging and not being bothered either way or simply letting their feelings be known by choosing to follow or not follow said commander.<br /><br />Others tagged up and demonstrated by example more rational, reasonable, mature commanding.<br /><br />Eventually, support eroded away from the abusive commander till he was pretty much only running with his guild and a few militia that could tolerate him, and he ended up leaving for greener pastures elsewhere.<br /><br />Moral of the story: People will be people.Jeromaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02206083433625986970noreply@blogger.com